Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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