My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Pooping to opera.
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