You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
