Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
