i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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