If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I am one with the molecules
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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