I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the day after is always just damage control
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
