Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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