Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
