Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The adults are the big ones right?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
