What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
