this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
