sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
