none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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