then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
