Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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