But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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