the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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