it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
