Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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