Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
