I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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