I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
