are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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