He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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