so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
