I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
