At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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