haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize