Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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