I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
