the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
