Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
