apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
