school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
