Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
