But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
