she was so not down for the gang bang
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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