I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
