my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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