the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
