my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
