don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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