Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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