He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
