Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's shark week go big or go home
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize