he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
