Kareoke will never be a sober sport
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
