The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
