your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
