Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
