A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
