what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize