I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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