She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
