There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
