So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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