I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
