That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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