The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
