i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
