It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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