Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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