OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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