if you like me you must not know who I am
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
