youre lurking in front of me
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
