member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize